


Intimacy

by distantattraction



Category: Godsfall Podcast D&D Campaign
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 23:16:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10650114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distantattraction/pseuds/distantattraction
Summary: There are a lot of firsts for the young Godlings, but Xion has a special fondness for the ones he shares with Pera.





	Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> Xion Praeten: God of Force, Breaker of Chains, Lover of the Sun. Doesn't know how to have fun or how to have sex.

Sirena’s ship isn’t large, not for a ship and certainly not to a Kadarian. But it has space enough for Xion to share a room with Pera and only Pera. It’s bigger than his stowaway’s quarters on Dobos’ ship, and it’s more private than the woods they’ve camped in or the cells where Xion and Pera first said they love each other.

The privacy is nice. They’ve gotten accustomed—slowly—to allowing themselves to be affectionate with each other in front of their friends, but it’s still embarrassing. In the quiet of their own room, no one will laugh or be bothered by Xion and Pera’s shared kisses, so they take the opportunity to kiss. A lot.

Xion knows almost nothing about dating. There wasn’t really any point in learning something he thought he would never be able to do, after all. His fate had been decided the moment he was born into the Praeten family. His wife would be chosen for him, as wives had been chosen for Mahteret and Tahlus already. Xion’s growing preference for men, kept tucked away deep inside himself, wouldn’t be an issue because he was never going to be able to choose who he married anyway. Even if he could love a woman, he wouldn’t be allowed to wed her unless it aided the family.

But here he is in the middle of the ocean, a traitor to everything he was raised to believe, with magic running through his very veins and a beautiful, _beautiful_ boy in his arms.

Xion has been in danger ever since his powers Awakened, but he can’t bring himself to regret anything that’s happened since his mother smuggled him out of the Southern Shield. He could do with fewer near-death experiences, sure, but the people he’s befriended along the way are worth taking risks to protect.

And Pera. Pera with his soft hair and soft voice, his fierce loyalty and fierce flame, his strong arms and gentle fingers. Pera makes Xion feel alive. It’s exhilarating just to be close to him, and their quests have resulted in them falling into each other’s arms more than once, which Xion is quietly happy about. When he holds Pera’s hands when they are alone and out of danger, there may not be any Divinity involved, but Xion still revels in the touch.

At present, Pera has Xion pressed up against the wall, tongue insistent in Xion’s mouth as it has been since they figured out that trick. Pera is no more experienced than Xion when it comes to romance, but they’re managing to stumble their way through it. Xion doesn’t actually know how he ended up at the wall; he’s fairly certain they were in the middle of the room when they started kissing, and he doesn’t remember moving his feet to get here. The little noises of pleasure Pera makes against his lips are incredibly distracting. It’s hard to focus on anything else, especially when Xion doesn’t care to divert his attention from how wonderfully warm Pera’s chest feels against his.

When Xion’s brain stops focusing entirely on soft lips, gently nipping teeth, and breathless panting, it doesn’t go far. His attention drops down to his thigh, where something firm presses persistently against him. Xion’s lips turn up as he kisses Pera. It pleases him that he’s got Pera flushed in all the right ways. He presses his thigh up against him, putting his hands to Pera’s lapels, ready to draw him in closer.

To his surprise, Pera backs away, flustered. “Sorry, I— I got caught up in— I shouldn’t have—” He’s babbling with embarrassment, and he won’t look at Xion’s face.

“Hey,” Xion says, his voice as soothing as he knows how to make it. “It’s not a bad thing, Pera. It’s okay.”

When Pera finally does meet Xion’s gaze, Xion can see fear and shame and guilt in his eyes. It’s a familiar expression. Xion has seen those eyes looking back at him from the mirror often enough. He still feels it sometimes, but he’s not in Kadar anymore. He’s a Godling traveling with three other divine beings. They’re on a ship belonging to the lesbian High Elf _Godqueen_. Sometimes, things like that are enough to scare away the fears.

“We could stop, if you like,” he says. The shame in Pera’s eyes is replaced with panic, and Xion curses himself silently. “Not stop dating!” he says hastily. “I just meant stop for now, until we’ve calmed down a bit, if that will make you more comfortable.”

Pera looks away again. He gnaws on his lip while Xion wonders just how badly he’s fucked this up this time. Then Pera speaks.

“I don’t want to stop,” he admits. “Ever.” And that word comes out much more fiercely the first few did.

Xion steps forward, smiling. “Do you want to keep going, then?” he asks. Pera nods, edging closer until he can slot his body up against Xion’s and press their lips back together. He’s still hard, thankfully. Pera nibbles on Xion’s bottom lip, and Xion hums into Pera’s mouth in response. He presses up against Pera again, and then Xion realizes he’s not the only one who’s hard.

This poses a sort of problem. The thing is: Xion doesn’t know what the fuck to do. He heard the other acolytes chatter amongst themselves about touching themselves, but he was too busy trying to keep himself from staring at their bare torsos to focus on what they were saying. Besides, it’s not as if those boys were his friends. Those conversations hadn’t really been for him to participate in. And despite knowing more than a few pretty girls, none of them were quite right. Thinking of them didn’t do anything for him when he locked himself in his room to try to take himself in hand. And even if there were any books on the topic, which he doubts, Xion would never have dared to touch them.

He’d once heard Phryane and Torrvic trading stories of trysts they’d had over drinks (in _public_ ), and the details were graphic enough that Xion thought his head was going to burst into flames like Pera. Embarrassment quickly sent him scurrying away, but he heard enough to know where you’re supposed to touch a woman. He’s just not sure how that’s supposed to translate to touching a man.

So Xion sort of knows what to do. Theoretically. But not really. At all. But like hell is he gonna disappoint Pera after worrying him. He’ll just have to… think on his feet.

He slides a hand under the hem of Pera’s shirt and up his stomach, taking his time, letting his fingertips trail across the warm skin. Pera takes his lips away from Xion’s, which would be disappointing if he hadn’t switched to nuzzling at Xion’s neck. Pera’s breath is hot against his skin. With him so close, it’s easy to hear Pera’s breath hitch when Xion grazes a patch of skin more sensitive than the rest. He’s got a ticklish navel, it turns out.

He tugs Pera’s shirt up and over his head, and now he can see his pale hands caressing Pera’s skin. Xion is careful, cautious, unsure when he moves his hand up from Pera’s stomach to his chest. He runs his fingers over Pera’s nipples, snippets of that conversation at the tavern floating across his mind. Stupid adjectives made obscene by context: _pillowy_ and _perky_ come to mind, as do _slick_ and _wet_ and he’s really starting to think this is hurting him more than it’s helping, but Xion runs his hands down Pera’s sides, and that grounds him.

They’re the same age, but despite all the time Xion has spent on the training grounds, Pera’s body is much more defined than his. Unsurprisingly, farm work builds more muscle than getting beaten up by Fozha does. Xion’s fingers skate across Pera’s skin from shoulder to elbow to wrist. Pera catches one of Xion’s hands in his own. The other hand goes lower. Pera fumbles at the buttons of Xion’s pants, his fingers clumsy. He gets them just open enough to shove his hand inside, and Xion gasps outright as Pera wraps his fingers around him. His grip is firm but not tight as he moves his hand, touching him with surprising confidence. Either Pera is very good at bluffing his way through this part of sex, or, unlike Xion, he’s done this to himself before.

Xion doesn’t have anything to compare it to, but he thinks Pera is good. _Very_ good. Good enough to reduce Xion to leaning heavily against Pera, panting and shaking as Pera strokes him from base to tip. Pera swipes his thumb over the head, and for a second Xion doesn’t know what’s happening. Pera makes this noise, and then Xion realizes he’s bitten into the skin where Pera’s neck meets his shoulder. Xion presses a line of kisses from the bite mark down to Pera’s chest, murmuring apologies into his skin.

“It’s alright,” Pera says, and his hand is so warm and the pressure feels so good. Xion’s eyes fall shut. Magic he can deal with, and even Divinity is growing on (in) him, but sex might be too much for him to handle. He reaches blindly downward until he can feel Pera through the front of his pants.

It’s scary, this physical intimacy he never dreamed of, never bothered to consider before. It might be the scariest thing he’s had to contend with so far. But they’ve certainly faced deadlier things before, and Xion is no coward. A worrying fool, maybe, but not a coward.

Besides, Xion thinks it’s the good kind of scary. The kind that changes your life.

He does his best to mimic Pera’s movements, but the fabric and Xion’s own inexperience get in the way. He’s sure he’s doing this wrong, somehow, but when Pera moves away it’s only so he can dip down to catch Xion’s lips with his own. Pera doesn’t stop stroking him as he kisses, and this is _definitely_ overwhelming for Xion. It’s getting hard to think, what with all the blood rushing away from his head and into his—well. Anyway.

Xion’s pressed up against the wall again—Pera is _good_ at that—and when Pera pulls back to take a breath, Xion notices a distinct wet spot forming on the front of Pera’s pants. Then he realizes how slick he feels himself, and the blood is rushing back up to his head so he can blush. Pera pauses, and for a moment they just stand there with their hands on each other. Then Pera glances to the side, quick but not subtle, before looking back to Xion for a response.

Xion looks toward the bed too, and he nods.

Pera smiles a bit as they walk the short distance to the bed. Xion puts his hands on the hem of his shirt, but really, he’s watching Pera. He tugs his pants down, and Xion marvels for a moment at the way his erection springs up over the waistband. Pera looks expectantly over at him. Xion hesitates.

They’ve all seen Pera naked enough—he does have a tendency to burn off his clothes, after all, and they haven’t found him any mithril shorts—but no one has seen Xion undressed before. Even his brothers haven’t seen him shirtless in years, not since he started getting teased about his scrawny waist being a disgrace to the Praeten name.

Only half of those comments came from the boys he wasn’t related to, but Xion got used to it quickly enough.

Still, he’s nervous. But Pera is starting to look worried again, and he’s fucking stunning with his clothes off. How did Xion miss it before? All of a sudden Xion feels much too warm for his clothes, and he thinks his mouth might be watering a little, so he pushes down his nerves and strips.

Pera looks relieved. Then he looks aroused, which means Xion isn’t so much of a twig to repulse him. But again, they’ve reached a point where he doesn’t know what to do next. Pera makes the decision for him, pushing Xion onto the bed and lying on top of him. Xion expects that they’ll resume touching each other, but Pera seems only to be intent on kissing him. Pera really likes kissing. Pera likes kissing until neither of them have any breath left in their lungs and he likes the way Xion puts his hands in his hair.

But they don’t need to be naked to make out—they’ve proved that plenty enough—and while Pera might be preoccupied with tongues, Xion is very aware of their erections pressed between them, hot against each other’s stomachs. He shifts his hips upward so they rub against each other, and Pera yelps. He moves his face away from Xion’s, just for a second, just long enough for Xion to see that his pupils are dilated. Xion does it again. Pera closes his eyes, his arms suddenly shaky where they hold up his weight.

Xion flips them over. It startles Pera, but this way it’s a whole lot easier to grind against him. Xion reaches down, hand landing with his fingers on Pera’s cock and his thumb on his own. It’s the first time he’s touched himself sexually in a long time, but Pera changes everything. Xion strokes them together, and a noise leaves Pera’s mouth, high and full of pleasure.

Xion’s hand isn’t big enough to get all the way around the both of them, but Pera puts his hand to work too. They fall into a rhythm easily, and Xion thinks that time ceases to exist while they touch each other. Logically, it’s probably only a few minutes, but the contact feels like it lasts forever. He thinks they come together, but he wasn’t really aware at the time. Orgasm is just a lot _more_ than he was expecting.

He’s vaguely aware of a thump as Pera lets his arms fall heavily onto the sheets. Xion keeps his hand where it is, even though he can feel them both softening in his grip. He’s still in the midst of his reverie when he opens his eyes, so Xion drinks in the view the way Torrvic drinks ale.

Pera’s skin is dark and gorgeous, so the pale mess splattered across his stomach and chest makes for a stark contrast. Xion idly runs his fingertips through it. Then he blinks, and the spell is broken.

Xion gets back on his feet in a panic, only to find that he’s stood up _too_ quickly. He forces himself to stay still while the dizziness passes. Pera looks up at him, dreamily but confused, and Xion mutters “towel, water,” before crossing the room. Pera hasn’t moved at all by the time he returns. Xion wipes them both down with a cool, damp cloth, and he’s about to grab their clothes when Pera lays a hand on his arm. He’s not gripping, but the touch is still enough to catch Xion’s attention.

“Stay,” Pera says. His voice is already thick with sleep, and he’s having trouble keeping his eyes open. It draws Xion’s attention to how long and thick his eyelashes are, which in turn makes Xion remember the way Pera’s lashes tickle his cheek when he blinks while they’re curled up in bed together.

This decision is a simple one. He crawls up onto the bed, shifting Pera so he can pull the sheets over the both of them.

**Author's Note:**

> "what if i write xion/pera porn" what if it ends up being really long and becomes a three chapter thing because you have no control over your life
> 
> LISTEN: STAY WITH ME UNTIL CHAPTER THREE FOR TORRVIC BEING A VERY UNHAPPY SEX ED TEACHER. PLEASE. IT'S HILARIOUS


End file.
